Today is the best day to hit the gym / go the laundromat / run any annoying
errand that anyone who has an excuse would put off. Everyone in these
places on this day is SINGLE and READY TO MINGLE. Or at least single and quickly moving through very short lines.
Anything that just happens to have hearts on it is 75% off today. Candy. Candles. Flowers. Lingerie. Chocolate fondue hot tubs. You have the time (and thus the advantage over couples) to grab all the good discounts. Even Valentine's Day events are cheaper when you're buying for one.
Todayyou have an excuse to exclude that one friend in a six year long
relationship who's offended when they aren't invited to your single
people events.
Instead of hearing another love lecture from someone who married the only
person they've ever kissed, you and your fellow single friends can get
drunk, share Tinder date horror stories, and celebrate how amazing it is
to have an entire bed to yourself to fall asleep in whenever you
please.
Most workplaces that have a no-delivery policy will lift this ban for
Valentine's Day. In lieu of spending money on a genuine gift for a
romantic partner, you can use that money to send a friend a sensual
basket or giant teddy bear to embarrass them in front of their
coworkers.
Valentine's is the one day a year it is socially acceptable to mourn your lack of
relationship without even having a recent break-up. So celebrate Singles
Awareness Day by watching Blue Valentine, listening to K-Ci and JoJo,and finishing writing your sci fi novella The Last Eclipse -- a thinly veiled memoir of your last relationship. Any other day it's pathetic, but today WALLOW FREELY AND PROUDLY.
People are lined up two-by-two in overbooked and overpriced restaurants,
begrudgingly trying to replicate some Hollywood image of what a romantic
day looks like. Or even worse are the self-aware couples who
intentionally do nothing but then get into fights about how the other
one did more. Lucky for you, all these fights mean more single friends!
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