Beyoncé may wake up flawless, but the rest of us aren't so lucky! We need personal
time to groom so we can present a more attractive version of ourselves
to the world. You may not know that we have toe hair too -- we just shave it!
When we first meet you, you better bet we go through your entire internet
history! Before our first date we know where you live, who you bank
with, and any signs of physical weaknesses.
Don't tell a woman anything you don't want her best friend to know! Lady friends tell each other EVERYTHING, from your family's muffin recipe to the best way to enter your apartment without a key.
Drake has made sure our love for Beyoncé
is not a secret, but the true depth of our admiration for Queen B is
unfathomable to the male imagination. We will not rest until she holds
all power she rightfully deserves.
Men may hold 80% of parliament seats worldwide and 95% of Fortune 500 CEO
positions, but don't underestimate girl power. And by girl power, I mean
the high-powered assault rifles every woman keeps stored in her shoe
closet. LOL you didn't think anyone could actually want to own that many pairs of Jimmy Choos, did you?!
As you've probably always suspected, all labias roll out to reveal maps with color-coded war plans. And - even more well-guarded than that darn g-spot -
is an inner secret vagina pocket filled with nuclear launch codes
calculated to destroy all men at any given moment. We are just waiting
for Her Supreme Majesty Beyoncé to give the word and the fury of womankind will rain down.
We don't want to destroy all of you menfolk, but those darn meninists are onto us. We may never admit
it but we'll miss you, our big strong pickle jar openers. :X :P :*
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