The 10 Hottest Words to Say to a Woman

Sometimes, even the simplest of phrases can piss a woman off. (“Calm down” comes to mind.) Why? Because words—however innocuous they may seem to you—always carry meaning to her: “[Women’s] brains are more wired for communication,” says Jaiya, a sex educator and author of Cuffed, Tied, and Satisfied: A Kinky Guide to the Best Sex Ever. “So words are going to have a little bit more weight to a woman than to a man.”

The upshot: That means your words can be a powerful aphrodisiac for your partner—a way to tap into her desire, any time of day. And there are some that work for almost every woman out there: “Words that help her feel wanted, desired, and sexy are going to usually universally trigger women,” says Jaiya. “They go from their ears down to their genitals,” she says.

1. "Yes."

Most women don’t want a yes man—i.e., a pushover—but they do love a guy who knows what he wants. “We’re attracted to men who are certain and decisive,” says DeAnna Lorraine, a Los Angeles-based dating coach. “When a man speaks like that—‘yes’ or ‘absolutely’—it shows that certainty.” It also says you’re a guy who’s willing to do what makes her happy, including in the bedroom: “If she lets out a moan and you say, ‘yes,’ it gives her permission to go even deeper into her pleasure,” says Jaiya. “It helps her let go.”

2. “Jessica.”

No, don’t call every woman Jessica. But yell (or whisper) your partner's name when you’re in the throes of passion. “Female pleasure is narcissistic,” says Jaiya. “Hearing her name makes her feel special. It’s about her, like, you’re the irresistible one. You’re the one with the magic hoo-hoo. It’s not about someone random.” In other words, tacking on her name is a dynamite way to reassure her that she prompted your pleasure, not some fantasy woman in your head.

3. “Love.”

"I love you” isn’t the only way to drop the “L” word—simply saying you love a specific part of her body will effortlessly ignite her desire. “The connotation of ‘love’ is intense and special,” says Arlene Goldman, Ph.D., a sex therapist in Philadelphia and author of Secrets of Sexual Ecstasy. “’I like the way you look’ is lukewarm, but ‘I love the way you look’ sounds very positive and passionate.”

4. “Tight.”

There are two no-fail ways to use this word: in reference to her vagina, or when you're admiring her awesomely toned body. The former is especially powerful in the sack, because “every woman wants to feel like she’s virgin-esque to her man,” explains Lorraine. “It’s assurance that she’s making her man feel good and he’s aroused.” Read: You’re not only complimenting the youthfulness of her body—you’re also letting her know that she’s playing a potent role in your pleasure. “Actually describe to her how good she feels inside,” suggests Jaiya.